Shsssh, the “Red Dirt Rambler” has gone to the garden center, yet again, for more plants. RDR wasn’t going to do a hoe post. She was trying to let May 3rd slip by with no talk of hoes. She wasn’t even going to visit other blogs having a hoe down, because she doesn’t want the world to know how badly we’re treated.
RDR doesn’t know it, but when she brought her laptop out to write, our spies saw May Dreams Garden’s Hoe Down. While RDR is away, we’re having a “parteah.”
However, while we’re here, we’ve got a grievance or two that we want to air. It doesn’t matter how dirty or tired we feel, we are expected to serve at her pleasure like she’s the Queen of England or something.
It’s hard out here for a hoe. As Rodney Dangerfield would say, “We get no respect.”
Once she’s disposed of the crab grass, Bermuda grass, or the bindweed, she just drops us and leaves us where we lie. If we’re lucky, she stuffs us into a bucket with all the other gardening implements. Do you know how stuck up the Felco Pruners are? Although we’ve seen plenty of starry nights, we’re ready to come into the garage. Better yet, build us a classy shed like the ones in her friend, Debra’s, book, Stylish Sheds and Elegant Hideaways.
We try to hide in the grassy paths, but she always seems to find us. Must be the color on the handles. One of our older short-handled hoes, a Smith & Hawken, is still out there hiding. Or, did RDR “put her out to pasture?” Permanently.
Can someone please tell her the importance of cleaning and oiling her garden implements? Since our employer won’t pay for our upkeep, we want socialized hoe care.
One of our members, a twenty year garden veteran, was lost, she says, by a teen, on a high school work project. We went on a hoe strike, but she brought in newcomers, aluminum and powder coated scabs that broke the picket line. We’ll never forgive them.
Although we have other dissatisfactions, those are our chief ones. We’d like you, the other bloggers, to comment some sense into her. Carol, you seem a sensible hoe supervisor. She treats us like she owns us, handle and blade.
The long-handled hoes have their own complaint.
“We don’t like how she plays favorites. We all work hard for her, but she turns again and again to the small, hand-held hoes. It’s favoritism or nepotism or some ‘ism.’ Give us justice!”
Perhaps this “parteah” is turning into more of an organizational meeting. RDR better watch out. This is America you know. Hoes unite!
Not only do you crack me up, Dee, but now I’ve got that danged song from “Hustle and Flow” stuck in my head again.
My yard is so small you’d think I could keep the tools picked up, and we even have a shed. I hope you can build yourselves a cute one one of these days!
Annie at the Transplantable Rose
Thanks, Annie. I think we get distracted, and our tools suffer. A cute shed would be fun, but probably not in the cards for awhile.~~Dee
I’m still laughing about the socialized hoe care. *lol* too funny!
Margo, the hoes aren’t even speaking to me after I left them out in the rain again.~~Dee
That’s a hoot, Dee! And what a nice collection of hoes you have. I have one lowly hoe, so I didn’t join the party. She’s a bit of a wallflower.
The hoes are glad you liked it.~~Dee
Hilarious!
I’m glad to know that I’m not the only gardener who drops tools where I’m working when I get distracted (GADS) and leaves them lying there forgotten. Sometimes I find them. Sometimes I don’t.
MSS, thanks. Oh, yes, I leave them everywhere. They have a right to complain, although I hope they don’t organize.~~Dee
Well, I be dah ho’d’culture. You’ve got some angry ass hoes out there Missy. Better get ’em oiled up and put away before you have an uprising………of weeds on your hands.
0x0x0
MA, I do. I know I should care for them better. That one, they thought was “retired” I found in the garage.~~Dee
Uh oh Dee! You better keep the unions out, your hoes sound like they’re becoming a bit restless. Although I’m sure my tools have enjoyed the starry nights they’ve spent outside.
Cinj, I like camping. I thought they would too.~~Dee
Oh, honey-bunny– I now know I am not the only one! I’m Curtiss Ann and I’m tool irresponsible. With the prices going up, I’m trying to go on the responsible wagon. 🙂 I am envious of our tool bucket! Have been asking hubby for such.
Love you, girlfriend.
Hugs,
CurtissAnn
CA, Love you too.~~Dee
My hoes and the like have spent a few starry nights out regrettably and a few rainy nights as well.
Mine too.~~Dee
That is one flash piece of gardening gadget gizmo thingy you have there, I hope there is a place for your hoes….
Hi Mark, I wish I could build one of those sheds, but I want a watering system more. The hoes will just have to remain in the bucket.~~Dee
“Socialized hoe care . . . ” I love it. You hoes should know you are not alone. The Purdyville hoes suffer similarly. Sometimes they are even expected to do out-of-title work.
Kathy, glad you liked it. The hoes had fun writing it.~~Dee
Your poor mistreated hoes. Ha… They should be happy they aren’t withering of dry rot in the barn. Tell em to quit their whining.
Lisa, I’ll tell them you said so. Oh, wait, they’re not speaking to me.~~Dee
Dee, It sounds like you are fixing to have a situation on your hands up there. If those hoes get organized, you are going to be in trouble. That was priceless.
Deb
Thanks, Deb. You always write such funny stuff.~~Dee
You hoes have it made! You live with a real bonafide gardener! Starry nights! I thought hoes loved camping? Sometimes my hoes spend the night outside, too.
I’m not sure I can agree with all your grievances, but I am glad you took control of Dee’s blogs and posted about yourselves. It would be a shame for y’all to miss the Hoe Down, even if you do seem a bit “spoiled”. Just saying…
Thanks, Carol, for the support.~~Dee